Who is the NordShark?
Is it a man, or is it an idea? It’s both.
As you explore your community, you may sometimes see them on telephone poles. Or stuck in the ground on the boulevard. You catch them in your periphery, and they don’t seem quite right. But they belong there, right? I mean, a business put them there.
We Buy Houses, they say. Work Part Time! Lose Weight! Lawn Care!
That’s a snipe sign. And in Minneapolis and most municipalities, they are illegal. I am just one more citizen who is tired of looking at them, so I’ve taken to the streets to clean them up. Think of me as a glorified litter-picker-upper. I just get the litter that’s 10 feet up and nailed on with rubber washers.
Wait, why do you do this, isn’t this the city’s job?
I have family that work for the local municipalities, and I know first hand they don’t have the money to send work crews around town searching for signs, especially not at the speed they go up. Sign snipers aren’t dumb, they’re business people. They anticipate their signs will get removed, so they work into their strategy how long it takes for signs to get cleaned up.
As I write this, the State of Minnesota is in a government shutdown, which means there is zero cleanup happening on a municipal level. The snipers know this, and they’ve hit hard. That was the catalyst. Now I’m hitting back, because somebody should. At the very least, maybe I’m helping keep your taxes lower.
Are you bored or something?
No. I actually have very little free time. But when you get fed up, you get fed up. And so I have joined the community of sign sharks (I am by far not the only one) to help keep this infestation under control.
I used to be naive about it. I thought they were businesses doing what they could to get by. I thought they were local shops promoting local community work. Then I had my eyes open. These sign snipers are national. They hire people online to post their signs in major cities. They print mass numbers of signs on hard, corrugated plastic, and make them look hand written. They nail them up with rubber washers so you can’t pull them down. And if you confront the business? They either move their activity or lie and say they’ll stop. They’ll create different looking signs.
So now I see. They are more like a virus, adapting to survive and prey on the unaware. Citizens aren’t stupid - they’re just distracted and uninformed. If my actions of cleaning up the city aren’t noticed by anybody (except the spammers), then trust me - I’m doing a good job.
How do you do it?
As legally as possible. First, I always take pictures. I document where the sign is posted by taking a picture of the sign and the nearest intersection, and also geotagging the photos. If there is sufficient business information on the sign, I report it to 311 (for Minneapolis). Then, I remove the offending sign.
For that I have my tools. My favorite is the Sharkstick, a.k.a. the Tooth, which is a razor on a long pole. This will cut down most corrugated plastic signs. For the tough-to-budge signs, I have my Sharkbar, which is a prybar duct taped to a long metal pipe. It’s heavy and most signs don’t stand a chance. Lastly, I have a hammer and tin snips for nail cleanup. I always wear protective gear; it keeps me safe from falling debris, and let’s be honest, it makes me look like I know what I’m doing.
I’m currently in the process of designing and building a mobile, heavy-duty all-in-one Sharkstick, which I will post the instructions on how to make online.
Do you use judgement, or are you just a heartless shark?
First, I play by The Rules. Minneapolis City Ordinances 520 and 543 lay out the law in no unclear terms (see my City Codes page for suburbs). I’ve organized the ordinances on my website so I can check them when I’m in doubt, but when you find a sign that’s breaking the law, it’s pretty clear.
Quick story; There’s a new restaurant in Columbia Heights that just opened this month. About a block away they have a sign for their business with ‘now open’ on it. The sign is temporary, and I hope the restaurant gets some business and is able to establish. So no, I’m not going to yank their sign. I’m here to foster my community and keep it healthy and growing.
I don’t take down garage sale signs, rummage sales, lost kittens, any of that stuff. I don’t touch anything political. If you put a sign in front of your own business I’ll just cheer you on. I don’t worry about band posters or propaganda even. All I care about are the blatant commercial abusers who leverage public traffic areas for free advertising. The worst of whom prey on the vulnerable members of the community (such as the unemployed). These sign bandits know the laws they’re breaking; they have just as many tools and wits as I do to keep their practices afloat.
These are my enemies.
